You're So Vain January 2007

Recently, the Frumpy Zone was thrown from it’s orbit when I unexpectedly got a full time job. I was hit with an exciting realization: I get to ‘dress up’ every day. After living in t-shirts for the past four years, the idea of dressing up each morning is like telling a kid they can eat cake for breakfast! Yippee! My excitement soon turned to dismay when I realized that all of my previous ‘work clothes’ were too tight from the waist down. Of course I’ve been wearing all the same sweatpants and leggings from four years ago, but things change when zippers are involved. So I was off to do some shopping, all alone, just me and my credit cards. (Yes, I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.)

After a day of trying on clothes in various stores I realized that I could still wear the same size. (For the sake of clarity, I’m going to shatter one of the biggest taboos in female culture and actually talk numbers when discussing clothing. For the men reading this, you have never heard a woman actually use numbers when discussing size and weight. It’s always, “Oh, I gained a few pounds over the holidays. I’ll have to lose a couple of inches by spring.”)

OK, I can do this… I was still the same size, I mean I was still a size 8, even though I was a few pounds, I mean, 8 pounds heavier, and a few inches, I mean, 3 inches wider in the hips. How can that be? How can I still wear the same size when I know I’m bigger? I can sum it up in two fashionable words, ‘VANITY SIZING!’

The first time I discovered ‘Vanity Sizing’ was last year, while shopping at a vintage clothing store. I didn’t check sizes until I was in the dressing room. Imagine my surprise when I was struggling with a zipper and realized that a size 12 was too tight. After the saleslady administered smelling salts, she explained that a size 12 in the 1950’s was actually a size 6 in today’s world. So I would need a size 14. Great news! I hadn’t just gained 4 dress sizes in the past 3 years - phew!

Apparently the fashion industry has been doing this since the beginning of time. Women have always had sizing issues so it’s no wonder the fashion industry has worked with us on this delicate matter. What store would you rather shop in? The one where the clothes say you’re skinnier or the one where they say you’ve gained weight? So in reality, I’m a size 10 by the standards of 4 years ago but hey, if the label says 8, who am I to argue?