Green Thumb Wrestling April 2007

The fragrant air is filled with bird song, bulbs are coaxed from their winter hideout, and I get bit by the gardening bug. As I head out to my local nursery, visions of flowering landscapes and tidy vegetable gardens flit through my mind. Unfortunately, the picture in my head doesn’t quite match the reality of gardening in the Frumpy Zone.

First of all, my house is built on a bog of red clay with about an inch of topsoil sprinkled over it for appearances sake. But last spring, despite the red, hard truth, I carried on, refusing to believe my precious plants wouldn’t thrive with my calloused green thumbs tending them. I dug up tree roots, hoed rows and planted my seedlings in the red clay. In the age old battle of woman against nature I emerged victorious – a true gardener – despite the aching back and blistered hands.

When my husband came home from work, I proudly gave him a tour of the freshly formed garden - only to be told by the former farmer that I forgot the fertilizer. But I didn’t let my husband’s dire predictions of malnourished plants get me down. (Did I mention our soil was really red clay?) I slogged through the red mud to water my poor nutrient deprived ‘runtlings.’ I gave them extra doses of plant food. I watched them struggle against all odds to reach their tiny leaves toward the sun.

I planted rows of tomatoes, cucumbers, yellow squash, zucchini, wildflower seeds and a couple of chili pepper plants. I even started a pumpkin patch from the seeds of last year’s pumpkin. At the end of the summer we harvested: 2 pickling cucumbers, 1 cherry tomato, and 6 chili peppers.

And our entire patch of pumpkins disappeared! One day they were there, green vines with beautiful orange blossoms, and a week after our summer vacation, they were gone! Not a seed or vine left to mark their existence. They were either abducted by aliens (for being able to thrive in Mars like conditions) or they were disintegrated by the sun and the wind blew their fried ashes away. Only in the Frumpy Zone can a garden of such promise turn ugly and desolate.

But I tuck these melancholy memories away as I wheel my red wagon through the lush aisles of the nursery. Hope springs eternal…even in the Frumpy Zone.

Frump’s Best Mother’s Day Surprise (For Dad’s eyes only!)Hand Painted Flower Filled Clay Pots
Supplies: plain clay flower pots - any size acrylic paints, paint brushes or sponges, various flowering plants

Let each child hand paint their own clay flower pot for mom. While the pots are drying, take the kids to the local nursery and let each one pick a variety of flowering plants to
put in their pots. Let the kids help plant them.