Sunday, January 6, 2008

The Battle of the Smoke Detector Gang

Did you know that October is Fire Prevention Month? I'm sorry to say that the last thing I think of in the Frumpy Zone is fire prevention. Fortunately, my house is filled with high tech Smoke Detectors that are hardwired into my wall, making them eerily intelligent. When the back up battery starts to lose power, the detector automatically lets out a warning beep every 1.5 minutes until someone replaces it. Unfortunately, this always occurs in the middle of the night.

BEEEEP! My dog is the first to notice, thanks to her superhuman hearing ability. BEEEEEP! She jumps on my stomach - and starts shaking - all 38 pounds of her. Then I hear it - BEEP. I wait, there it is again, BEEP. I roll over, nudge my husband and he gets up and handles it.
(That's one of the perks of being married. He kills the bugs, takes care of all vehicle maintenance and gets up when something goes BEEP in the night.)

But last week, my husband was out of town. BEEP, THUMP, OOF, SHAKE! I rolled over and
nudged. 1.5 minutes later...BEEP, SHAKE, SHAKE, WHINE! I rolled over again and OH CRAP! my husband's not there. Well… OK, now what?

I stumbled downstairs to put the dog outside so she wouldn't have a heart attack. While fumbling around in the dark for her leash, she ran away in a fear induced frenzy. After muttering some choice words, I headed back upstairs to deal with the BEEP. I soon discovered that there's no way to tell which detector was beeping. They seemed to be taking turns.

Internal Communication Data from the Smoke Detector Gang:
BEEP! Hey Joe, here she comes, your turn.
BEEP! Pass it on, Buzz, let Joyce take over.
BEEP! I got it from here boys, my battery's feeling a little low.

For a good thirty minutes I'm stumbling around, climbing the kids stool, ripping detectors off the wall, prying out 9 volts, tripping back downstairs, looking for the dog, and digging through the battery box.

Three detectors later and I finally found the culprit! I waited the requisite 1.5 minutes...no beep. I held my breath for another 1.5 minutes... still no beep! Stealthily, I climbed off my stool. Silence reigned, until I heard the scratching. My dog returned, her nervous breakdown complete. I climbed back into bed and snuggled down under the covers.

Hey boys, she's back in bed. Anyone else need a new battery?
BEEEEEEEP!

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